Disclaimer: To those who are currently reading or just about to read the book Les Misérables, the next portion contains many spoilers.
You, sir, I regret to say, are a mirror of two of the quandaries our society faces today: the first is that of irresponsible young men who seek relationships with equally irresponsible young women without the knowledge of their parents; the second is that of engaging in a relationship without any commitment and without saying specifically where that relationship is headed.
You courted Cosette behind the back of her "father." You did not make your intentions known, you did not present yourself to him. And most of all, you did not ask his permission. There were many chances when you could have approached "Monsieur Leblanc," as you call him, for the purpose of introducing yourself and expressing your interest in Cosette. There was a chance when he came to the park alone, to test you and to observe you. It could have been an opportunity to talk to him, but instead you left, once you saw that Cosette was not with him. To make things worse, you turned into stalker mode and followed them home. I don't believe a gentleman—a real gentleman—would do such a thing. (If the circumstance were different, perhaps if the lady were very ill yet refused your offer to accompany her home, you could follow her from a distance, simply to ensure her safety. To follow, however, with the intent of gaining her address...my dear fellow, you have a tongue. Use it.)
Monsieur, you also chose to communicate (if it can be called such since no word at all passed between you during your park walks) through looks alone. Instead of words, you resorted to glances. It might seem harmless, but they are, I believe, an equivalent of a disease that has spread in our society today. The disease of MU. Mutual understanding. Malanding ugnayan. Mukhang unggoy. You get into this so-called relationship, first without letting the parent(s) know, and second, without defining what kind of a relationship it really is. How do you really know if you will not discuss it? If you will just gaze at each other? If you will rely merely on your feelings to assess and dictate your relationship? How do you know that Cosette was not appalled by the dirt in your boots? How do you know that you did not interpret her gaze wrongly? You cannot know for sure until you talk to her but only after you talk first to her father.
I am sorry to say your approach to gaining Cosette is something that I do not approve of. I am even sorrier to say that what you did is what many young men are doing now. Perhaps because it is the shortcut to getting the girl—skip the formalities and get where you want to be. That's not the way to do it, Marius (and the other young men out there who are about to make the same mistake, or perhaps are already doing the very thing). You do not court a girl without permission from her parents, particularly her father. You do not enter into a relationship with her unless you are ready for marriage. You do not get into a relationship just for the sake of getting into one. You do not act like you are in a relationship when you are really not in one. You do not play with a heart that is not yours.
Perhaps you were "lucky" with Cosette, Marius. But not every young man will marry the first girl he lays his eyes upon. Not every young man will marry the first girl with whom he enters into a relationship. Many of them end up with broken hearts because of a misunderstanding, simply because they assumed to much and never communicated anything. Many of them fall into traps from which they are unable to free themselves. Many of them get the girl without permission from the parents and suffer the consequences after.
I wish you had though first, Monsieur Marius, before you had acted. I wish the rest of the boys and men out there would do so too.
蔡宝玉. Daughter of the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Student-learner. Rebelutionary. Lady-in-Training. Purity Advocate. Pro-Life Advocate. Homeschooler. Culture Explorer. Language Lover. World Wanderer. Researcher. Authoress. Future International Lawyer (?). Future Diplomat (?). Music-lover. Singer for the Audience of One. Warrior-Princess. Avid fan of Literature. Loyal. Simple. A mix of Phlegmatic-Melancholy, of Thinker-Relater. INFP/INFJ.
"Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time."— Sara Paddison